There is a yes. A lurking seed in the heart, urging us to do illogical, dangerous things. When it gets the better of us, anything could happen. Some jump from airplanes, climb mountains, drive fast cars, or fall in love. For a moment their heart throbs with the joy of risk. But it fades.

We ache: for beauty, danger, and the risk of love. We watch their shadows on screens and stages. We grasp, as they slip through our fingers: they are not for sale.

But some seem to have found the secret. You can tell by their burnt trails of audacious behaviour and their hungry, happy eyes. Have you seen Him? they sing.

Who?

The homeless man who walked by the sea singing, Come! Lose your life! Follow me.

No where. No how long. Just come.

Fishermen threw away their nets, prostitutes left their street corners, and taxmen shut down business.

What did they see in his eyes?

Maybe you heard his wild beautiful voice and the buried seed awoke and erupted—yes! You signed the pledge. Went to the altar. Wept, even. Then left the meeting, closed the book, fell asleep, wondering—how? You look for someone to follow. A program. A plan. You walk in circles, make excuses. Urgency fades. Life slips into comfortable routine. But that yes haunts you. It finds you in your dreams. The voice is farther, fainter. It’s almost gone.

The only thing more terrifying than running headlong into the dark, is to live without that voice—wondering until your last breath what would have happened if you had followed it.

Now you have two options.

Question, calculate, plan. Wait for signs. Wait for God to “make” you do something. Shut out the uncomfortable voice until you can’t hear it anymore, even when you try.

Or.

Drop everything. And run—after the voice, into the dark. You’re probably scared and there are people screaming that you’re a reckless idiot.

But if you’ve said yes too many times, you cannot go back. The only thing more terrifying than running headlong into the dark, is to live without that voice—wondering until your last breath what would have happened if you had followed it.

Kat Selkirk
Kat Selkirk is a nomadic tea enthusiast, Canadian by passport, who found her home in God’s heart. She spent half her childhood in a small Ugandan town, where she developed her passions for nations, tea, dirt (gardening), writing and Jesus. While in University she got hijacked by God’s heart and became an intercessory missionary. She has no current address.