It has been about three months since I decided to share my story of struggling with homosexuality and finding freedom. Many things have happened since then and the only way to describe them is that our Heavenly Father is working in my life. From re-discovering my love for music and worship or living in Greenville, SC this summer; the Father has been there walking with me on my journey of freedom.
Since you’ve last heard from me, God has allowed me to live in Greenville, South Carolina this summer and live with three godly men from North Greenville University (NGU). I decided to put my big boy pants on and start trusting in the Father more than I ever have, resulting in Him coming through more than ever. After all, I didn’t have a job going into this summer. But, our Father never left me. He provided then and is still currently providing in ways I’ve never seen.
One thing that I learned this summer resulted in me mistaking my identity. As someone who is tempted with homosexual thoughts I have always struggled with my identity in what a true man looks like. This summer, I have had the awesome opportunity to live with three Spirit-filled men of God. Thankfully, I have had their godly example in front of me. Not once did they force their views of what a man should be on me, but yet I slowly started patterning my ways after theirs. In a sense, I started losing my identity, my false one.
Yes, I knew that I was God’s son, but I knew that some of my feminine characteristics drew attention to me that I didn’t necessarily want. I started focusing too much on my outer appearance and the way people perceived me than focusing on who Christ made me to be. He made me to be His son, a man, blameless, perfect, whole, righteous, pure and spotless in Him. He made me nothing less than what He wanted for my life. He gave me the exact characteristics, attributes, and mannerisms for a reason. Me desiring anything different than how I was created is saying God is wrong for how He created me.
A true man of Christ is someone who knows who he is. A true man is someone who isn’t afraid of how God has created Him and openly willing to walk in his unique gifts. As men we have to own up to what our desired purpose is. We are not meant to all be the same. As the church, we all serve a purpose in the kingdom. If we all were made the same, then we wouldn’t work together as one because we all would desire to be the leader.
I challenge you all that are reading this to accept your identity in Christ. I challenge you to not only view yourself as a son or daughter of the King, but to walk in the Truth that you are fearfully and wonderfully made in his image. You could possibly carry an attribute of the Father that no one else in your community can carry.
Walk in the fullness of your Creator and do not mistake your true identity. Yes, times will get hard because the deceiver wants to injure as many believers as possible. Just know that you are more than a conqueror and that you do have the power through Christ to have the victory in the area of identity.
“I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well.” Psalm 139:14 (NKJV) “you put on the new self, the one created according to God’s likeness in righteousness and purity of the truth.” Ephesians 4:24(HCSB)