Is it wedding season or what?! Every weekend recently its like I’m either at a wedding or looking at the photos from one! All of my beautiful friends are getting married and their wedding are off the charts awesome! Shout out to Jana and Eli Contreras and Matt and Kiki Anderson!

Wedding 2There is no party like a wedding, its my favorite of all celebrations I can attend! God bless your marriages! Im obviously only 19 and don’t need to worry about a life companion right now right? I’m too young or whatever the wise say. But c’mon people. Let me be honest, I think anytime is a good time when a relationship is about Christ. But thats not really what the topic I want to fully tackle in this post. What I want to talk about is the ‘S’ word.

S I N G L E N E S S. *enter dramatic music*

Something us a Christ followers always either sing, say, or pray is: “God all i need is you,” but most likely this isn’t true in our lives. We say it out loud but we have our reservations, the biggest is a spouse. We might as well be singing “All we need is you, and a wiiiffeeee” because thats what is in our hearts. Am I right or am I right! So why do we have this need, this exception to our lives with God?

Wedding 3!I really think its from our Christian sub culture. How many times have you heard “when I find my wife” or “I pray for my future husband every day”? For my age, I hear it like 50 times a week. There is nothing inherently wrong with this way of thinking. Relationships are a unique way to grow with God among other benefits. Who doesn’t want a relationship? It is a beautiful part of this world. But the sense of entitlement to a spouse is a problem. The fact that we just assume to have a spouse out there who is perfect for us and exactly what we need to have a full life is flat out sinful. Saying that we NEED a spouse is saying that there are needs of love that are not being met by God. Guess what, *buzzers* thats wrong.

Wedding!God is freaking perfect love. The love of a spouse looks like hate compared to the love of God. We are not completed in a spouse, we are completed in Christ. God’s love is so abundant and insane and ungraspable and so personal and so freakin rad, that when we say that we need the love of another is illogical and ignorant. You see the beautiful plants, animals, mountains, and valleys? Have you seen the stars, the galaxies? Have you seen the ocean and its abundance of beauty? All of that, every bit of the heavens and every single-celled organism, is created for your enjoyment along with God’s. The one who know you, before you speak, he understands, he knows and cares when you sit, when you stand, when your happy and when your sad. He, who created all of this is deeply in love and infatuated with you, so in love that he knows how many hairs on your head. Some would even call it obsessive compulsive, we call it love. You can’t escape this love, the psalmist says if we climb the heavens that God is there, if we make our beds in the depths, he would plunge for us. He did plunge for us. He came to this hell called earth to profess his love for us on a cross. THIS love is perfect.

Ok so what about sex? You may have this question, and I have an answer, WHAT ABOUT IT!?! Haha, guys, gals, sex was made by God and is beautiful in a marriage. Its made for our pleasure and from what I hear it’s pretty rad. But marriage isn’t about sex. Sex is a perk of marriage. We don’t need sex. We really don’t. Jesus didn’t have sex and he lived a perfect life, an amazing life. Why is life was so amazing is because he lived every moment of it with God. That is life to it’s fullest.

I hope you realize that I don’t hate marriage. I really love it. I hope I have a spouse one day, I really really do. But I don’t expect it, like its God’s duty to have a spouse in store for me. I really understand and believe that I can have a radical life without being cleaved with a significant woman. It wasn’t easy to get here, it took a lot of convincing by God to get to a place of contentment in this area of my life. But the bible is actually pretty clear about singleness. Again, I’m not going to put the verses up because I want you to do your own study, have your own journey on this topic, but there is significant evidence that supports singleness as a good thing. As a blessed thing.

So what does it look like in my life with this revelation in play? Well, when a fox walks in the room who’s a christian, I don’t run to God frantically asking if she’s “the one”. Nor am I always on the lookout for a life babe, I’m just wallowing in the love of God. Focusing on that love. Ladies, gents, know this, receiving and understanding more and more of God’s love for you, makes your love on others stronger, more pure, more holistic. If you want a spouse, if you want marriage, the best thing you can do is love the Lord your God with all of your heart, mind, soul, and strength.

These are my thoughts on singleness, not entirely on marriage. If you want me to shed some light on marriage, tell me and I’ll write a post in the coming weeks. If you feel convicted because you expect God to provide you someone who will complete you, talk to him about it. Repent of that. Seek God. Grace is huge. If you disagree with my statements, simply type “biblical singleness” and read up. I mean, I could be wrong, nobodies theology is perfect, tell me where I’m wrong and I’ll look into it further.

Scott Sotomayor
Scott is a West Coast Native from the beautiful Sonoma County California. He is a 19 year old, big, bearded, happy, loving son of a Latino. He is a world missionary with Youth With A Mission and will be based in the border town of Rostrevor Northern Ireland for the next two years! He is a people person so don’t be afraid to say hello!